You want to be successful in your negotiations?

Building effective bargaining rapport requires a combination of active listening, empathy, and a focus on underlying interests rather than rigid positions. By prioritizing human connection and mutual benefit, negotiators can move away from adversarial, zero-sum thinking to create more sustainable and satisfying agreements.

Essential Interpersonal Skills

• Active Listening: This involves more than just hearing words; it requires understanding the emotions and intentions behind them. Using open-ended questions—such as "Can you please describe your ideal outcome?"—fosters trust and demonstrates respect.

• Empathy: Building rapport depends on finding common ground and showing a genuine interest in the counterpart's well-being. Empathy helps uncover underlying fears or aspirations that might not be addressed in formal settings.

• Authenticity and Transparency: Ending a discussion on a genuine note supports long-term trust. Strategies like "showing your cards"—sharing your motivations to prompt the other party to do the same—can yield shared goals and build rapport.

• Flexibility and Creativity: Effective negotiators maintain a flexible mindset and use creativity to handle concession-making situations. This includes being willing to think about "outside-the-box" alternative solutions to break an impasse.

Core Behavioral Principles

To maintain a professional and productive atmosphere, negotiators should adhere to the following principles:

• Separate the People from the Problem: Negotiators should address emotional and personality issues independently from the substantive issues at stake. This prevents strong personal feelings from complicating the deal.

• Focus on Interests, Not Positions: Instead of arguing over firm demands, look for the basic needs, wants, and motivations that drive those demands. This approach often reveals shared goals that were not immediately apparent.

• Reciprocity and Good Faith: Rapport is built through the "rules of accommodation," which include reciprocating concessions, returning favors, and negotiating in good faith.

• Emotional Regulation: It is critical to keep emotions in check to avoid losing sight of the goal. Negotiators are encouraged to avoid emotionalism and rudeness to remain known as a respected actor at the table.

• Use Objective Criteria: Settling differences based on independent, fair standards—such as market value, law, or expert opinion—can depersonalize the negotiation and help preserve the relationship.